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Classic Symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder

Rashmi Nemade, Ph.D., edited by Kathryn Patricelli, MA

list with boxes checked The American Psychiatric Association (APA) publishes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). This manual describes the symptoms necessary for the diagnosis of all mental disorders, including Major Depressive Disorder. The DSM is updated when research and changes in the medical system make it necessary to revise old diagnoses. For example, in the last edition of the DSM, bipolar disorder was classified under MDD. In the most current edition (DSM-5), bipolar disorder is now a completely separate diagnostic category.

The Depressive Disorders category now includes:

These conditions are all similar in that they all have something to do with having a depressed mood. They are separated by the severity of the depression or by what may be causing it.

A person is diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder when:

  • they experience five or more of the following symptoms during the same two-week period for most of the day or nearly every day:
    • Feelings of sadness, emptiness, or hopelessness (in children, this may be irritability)
    • Having no interest or feeling no pleasure in all or almost all activities
    • Weight loss or weight gain by greater than 5% when not trying to lose or gain weight OR a change in appetite nearly every day
    • Sleeping too little or too much
    • Physical agitation or restlessness that is observed by others
    • Being tired and having a lack of energy
    • Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and guilt
    • Not being able to concentrate, think clearly, or make decisions
    • Being irritable
    • Ongoing thoughts of death or suicide - either thinking about suicide without a plan for how it would happen, having a specific plan or attempting to commit suicide
  • Never having a manic or hypermanic episode (being very excited or energetic which would be possible symptoms of bipolar disorder)
  • these symptoms cause a great deal of stress in the person's life or cause changes in their daily activities such as not being able to get out of bed, getting ready for the day, and/or handling school, work, relationships, and other commitments.
  • at least one of the symptoms is depressed mood or loss of interest or pleasure

Symptoms of MDD

Depressive symptoms can vary a great deal from one person to the next. One person with depression may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and helplessness. Another person may feel angry, irritated, and discouraged. These symptoms may also seem like a change in someone's personality. For example, someone who is usually patient might begin to lose his or her temper about things that normally would not bother him or her.

Symptoms can also change over time when someone is depressed. Someone who is initially withdrawn and sad can become very frustrated and irritable as a result of getting less sleep and not being able to accomplish simple tasks or make decisions. These symptoms cause stress that is noticed by others and cause problems at school, work or in relationships with others.

It is important to note that a diagnosis of MDD is not made when the cause is a substance (medication or drug of abuse) that the person took or because of another medication condition. People usually go to the doctor with complaints of disturbed sleep (not able to sleep or sleeping too much) or tiredness. Even though they may deny sadness, through careful interviewing, facial expressions, and body language, the doctor can often figure out if a person is feeling depressed.

When major depressive disorder is severe, people may experience psychotic symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions. Hallucinations are "phantom" sensations that appear to be real even though they are not caused by real things in the environment. Hallucinations may involve sights, sounds, tastes, smells or sensations. They can be very convincing, as well as disturbing. The most common form of hallucination involves hearing voices of people who are not actually present.

Delusions are very strongly held false beliefs that cause a person to misinterpret events and relationships. Delusions vary widely and examples include:

  • persecutory (someone is spying on or following you)
  • referential (a television show or song lyrics contain special messages only for you)
  • somatic (thinking that a body part has been altered or injured in some way)
  • religious (false beliefs with religious or spiritual content)
  • erotomanic (thinking that another person, usually someone of higher status, is in love with you),
  • grandiose (thinking that you have special powers, talents, or that you are a famous person).

When someone is depressed, these hallucinations and delusions usually focus on guilt, personal weaknesses, or disease. For instance, someone who is depressed might truly believe that they are not able to do their job or take care of their child because they are a failure. This feeling may be reinforced by voices telling them that they are weak or a belief that everyone is laughing at them behind their back. This can be especially troubling because a person can lose the ability to figure out the difference between real and imagined experiences in this situation.

In this center, we focus on Major Depressive Disorder, Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder, Persistent Depressive Disorder (Dysthymia), Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, Substance/Medication-Induced Depressive Disorder, Depressive Disorder Due to Another Medical Condition, and Unspecified Depressive Disorder. For information on Bipolar Disorder, please visit our center on that topic. Throughout our discussion it is important to keep in mind that the term "depression" is not very specific. There are multiple kinds of depression; and the diagnosis of a particular condition varies depending on how severe the symptoms are and how long they last.


Reader Comments

Found my brother and I'm suffering from depression - Joe - Jan 27th 2015

I recently found my brother dead, after he was murdered ( stabbed) and no one understands why I mIght be pissed off and not in the best mood. My girlfriend is putting me through hell and I dont understand how she coups be so mean , being such a b**ch to me , complaining all the time. I need to be loved but I'm just getting more depressed and I'm falling into bad habits trying to cope. I don't know what to do or where to turn:(

Confused?? - - Dec 15th 2014

So I've been really confused lately. I went through a bit of a tough time a few months ago, but the feeling of just overall glumness has not gone away. It's been about 3 months. I have this feeling of just not wanting to do anything, I can't concentrate, i stay up too late and sleep too much, I don't want to be around anyone but my best friend, and none of my responsibilities get done anymore. There's also constantly this nervous feeling in my chest that won't go away. about a month ago I started reading more about depression and anxiety and I came to the conclusion that I may have one of these illnesses, especially considering my mom has bipolar depression and anxiety. But reading these articles and all has really made me overthink all this and I'm starting to wonder if I've just made it all up in my head and am wayyyyyy blowing this out of proportion. I feel like I'm driving myself insane and rotting from the inside out. And I'm nervous to talk to my mom about this because I'm only a teenager and she may think it's just hormones or something. I'm just kinda freaking myself out and I feel really alone and it'd be really amazing if someone could give me some advice?? It would mean the world to me, thanks xoxoxo

I Hallusionate - Anynomous - Dec 3rd 2014

I'm A teenaged Boy , I Don't know if I have this but I'm confused , it seems like I hear people on my mind judging me , it gives me mixed feelings , am I crazy ?

sad - - Oct 23rd 2014

in 2011 i was put on life surport for three months ,ihad merser in my blood,i could not talk i had to learn how to walk again,but i can say god healed me,but i stay sad,i want to sleep all day im depressed,i scream out at the ones who love me,im not the same person i used to be 

keep on keeping on. - Ginger - Oct 8th 2014

I don't know any of you and Im sure we are all from Different parts of the world. My spouse has Major Depression disorder. We have a baby on the way and other children to raise. I know it is hard to be the one having to deal with the person that is going through this I can only imagine being the one in the Boat. He my spouse says upset and scared at times. I keep telling him that God doesn't give up on us and we can't give up either. The Lord is why I keep going each day. My husband will make recovery from all of this because I put all my faith in trust in God. That is what we have to do . When you hang onto the past it builds up a mountain around you that you can not see over. It causes baggage that tears us down. You have to let go of the past and the baggage. It it to God because he wants you all happy. Its nice to smile and laugh and to know people care. I care about you all and know God has a purpose for your lifes. Hang in there and keep your head up and let God take control. When you are a follower of God he doesn't promise us that life will be easy because it will not . But focus on the Positive and on the Lord and he will always see you through. I pray for all of you that God will take care of you , and you will lean on him in bad times when your down or don't know what to do. He is a gracious Lord and He Loves you all. I pray that this post puts a smile on your face and gives you hope to see past, all bad. Lean not on your understanding but on Gods. God bless and have a great day!

Survival is up to you - Dave - Sep 27th 2014

Want advice on severe depression ? Just ask anyone who has never experienced it they usually have all the answers also. A person who has never experienced severe depression has no idea of the second by second torture of it. If you are unfortunate enough to suffer from it your very survival depends on you.People commit suicide daily while "waiting" to see if the latest antidepressant helps. Doctors seem oblivious to the fact by the time you see them you might not survive the next day. If you survive you have to find ANYTHING that helps.

depression in teenaged boys - ganesh - Sep 11th 2014

My son aged 19 is studying in Enginnering and stays in hostel distant from native place. Problem with him is LOW SELF ESTEEM, not interested in any thing, even nor in studies, no AMBITIONS hence feeling bored and sleeps more. He does not mix with his friends much. Though he answers all the 100% questions, if fails even for ONE marks makes him depressed and panic. How to treat him to get more interest in life. He is not having any bad habits, even not much watching mobile phone. kindly help me by sharing your knowledge.

my son has depression - hussaina - Sep 4th 2014

My son is suffering from severe depression which has lead to hallucinations and delusions. Until i read this fantastic article I was searching for answers. Now i know what this all is. He is refusing to take the medication. What shall I do? Please someone.. help me!

Lost and Confused!! Mysteriously suffering bad anxiety and depression - - Jan 10th 2013 - - May 11th 2013

(story is continued from - Lost and Confused!! Mysteriously suffering bad anxiety and depression - - Jan 10th 2013)

the "majority" with an image of my type would not behave and think the way i do everything is a competition and very superficial and greedy to those oposite. I was the guy that was hated by the jealous ones but admired and looked up to to those humble that know how to give a compliment and those loved close ones. i was always puzzled and thought how do people become loopy and upset with life i never understood why, because life is so beautiful and enjoyable there is so much to try/see and do, so many things that feel amazing so much to look forward to.  

That sums me up! However going from the guy that loved being the life of the party, the one telling the story or cracking a joke and wanting to be the last to walk in to make an entrance and hug and greet everyone one by one, "TO" the guy that ignores friends text messages, makes every excuse under the sun to friends and family to avoid going out with with to socialize and have fun, can't walk in to a simple shop to buy the things i need, pull up to the gym to do what i love and to maintain what makes me feel confident/amazing and turn back because i cant fight the feeling of nervousness and feeling worthless overanalyzing what everyone going to think or say or dreading conversating with anyone because i have so much self doubt in my personality therefor stripped and naked of all my confidence, posetivity and belief meaning im putting myself down so much in my head due to not being able to be or do what i used to feeling this way and having no control over the problems that were happening because the problems that were taking over my life that i was so perfectly happy and confident with everyday werent alowing me to live the life and enjoy it the way i did before, i was at the point in my life were the anxiety was controling me into a puppy dog to do what ever it told me.. all the things above that i loved doing that brang me joy on a daily basis and made me the happy guy i was and didnt need to worry about what people thought or said and was carefree/fearless of anything that layed ahead of me in my path.. "I was now unable to do"!! So now instead, i was now the worthless misrible helpless guy that never wanted to go to the party or dinner let alone a close family function or would want to be the "FIRST" one there early because i was so nervouse and anxious overanalyzing walking into a crowded birthday or function being looked at and confronted with so many eyes people to face and people to socialize with. I would avoid that because i was so down on myself thinking that i was such a shit person with no personality due to this anxiety that was causing me to doubt and have no faith in every little thing i did it was causing me to break down more and more and become depressed.  No matter if i tried to fight it!!.. Overthinking and not being able to look at people when they talk to me was so odd in my eyes or trying to fight the anxiousness and going out doing what i was now fearing but had to do because it was limiting my life making me feel depressed and  then experiencing panic attacks at the cashier that made me go home and feel a million times more down and misrible with myself. I was fighting so hard with no ones help even when offered for months and months it was my battle alone in my head being an aries with so much belief such a competitive stubborn character that never wanted to admit to feeling this down i felt crazy like an alien i didnt want people or my family or friends to think that of me and tell others, because i never ever thought id be one to come crashing down this way i felt on top of the world everytime i would open my eyes and showed that through my laughter and smile and jokes that i would randomly say to people the positiveness i oozed to everyone around me which made them love me and want to share my company as it does. The only thing that kept me battling this crap misrible feeling was the technique i would use in my head reminding myself of what i once was the person i was so confident and believed in every second of each day and the affect i had on those around me, the things and people and memories cherished that made so me happy, the beautiful compliments, what id achieved/conquered and become up until this point what i was proud of, what id experienced and done with no regrets, the people i have in my life!! Mostly what i have to look forward to and imagine this special things that i want so badly that lay ahead of my journey in life as such a young man that is the answer and the result of wherever his life leads. Being such a passionate guy with not only the love i show and give with those involved in my day to day life but with remembering every momory and special moment i created back then when i was there and thought this is it lets make this memorable to be remembered forever! I always lived with that modo that the moment would never be rewinded or repeated which made me thrive to the very last second of each event so much!! Therefor this technique in the begining was so affective it would kill off any feeling of anxiety issues and all doubts in my personality id be back to a millior dollars carefree and unstoppable. I have big passion for music and believe that the songs we love can change the mood and uplift you so much so i started setioning out the happy songs i loved which worked  like a charm!!

Wish it was all over - sderynck12 - Feb 24th 2013

I am a junior in college and my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because i didn't spend enough time with her. I am 20 years old and I put drinking and hanging out with friends before her, but I didn't realize how bad it was getting. It has been three months since our break-up and she hates me more than anything in the world. She was the one girl i wanted to spend the rest of my life with and now she wants nothing to do with me. Everyday is the same, nothing good happens, and I wish away everyday. When I go to bed at night I pray that i don't wake up becaue I don't want to deal with another day. I'm not a good person and I think this world would be a better place without me. I have always been a spunky, fun and loving kid with so many ambitions in life. Now I just don't care anymore, I lost the one person who I have ever wanted to be with and now she thinks I am the scum of the earth. I don't deserve to be happy and I just want my life to be over because nobody would miss me. The world would be a better place. 

wifes illness - matt - Feb 16th 2013

hi , i need help, my wife stares at pictures all day, obviously depressed, shes on medication, but its not helping, wont let me go in with her to the pschyiatriast to tell him what she does so he can give a proper diagnosis. talks about rewriting all the laws in the country taking to a political party and making millions. will also ( when she doesnt think im around ) swear at the magazine picture she is looking at with the bluest language i have ever heard and almost argues with it. (NEVER swears normally ). HELP, some guidance would be appreciated as to what illness it could be. matt 

Am need of some help now cant do this life thing any more - Ged - Feb 14th 2013

can someone please help me? i cant phone anyone landline wont call out and no signal on my mobile, everything is going wrong and i cant do this any more.  i have a long history of depression but has been made worse with botched surgery and the pain and mental health problems this has caused

Help - gary - Feb 6th 2013


I have been there. 2 bouts in the hospital for suicide attempts. You must get some help. Call the suicide hotline, go to closest state mental clinic-in telephone book. You probably need to stay in the hospital-your family needs to know-they may or may not be supportive, you are here to live and that is what you have to do.

I don't know you, but don't want anything to happen to you. get help please.

people love u-




breaking down... - mdk - Feb 4th 2013

I am 23 and have 2 kids.... My self esteem is very low... I have suicidal thoughts and need help but does not want family to know. I feel trapped and cannot get out of this bad depression. I tried yoga and exercising to help me and it just doesn't seem to work. I feel fatigue most of the days and have lack of sleep. I feel useless and feel like I have no purpose in life. I'm on the edge of the world and want to jump so badly. I have no one to talk to about my feelings because they would get very angry at me for telling them. I just don't know what to do... I fear that my children will just have to live on without me.

Lost and Confused!! Mysteriously suffering bad anxiety and depression - - Jan 9th 2013

Hello to those battling through the toughest point of their lives feeling completely worthless on yourself and helpless wanting to burst out into tears because you feel you have no control and its the most frustrating thing to fight because you feel like theres nothing you can do and your think your not normal and your life is never going to go back to the hapy way that it was, trying the get an understanding as am i and who would like to listen as i have, to many stories that have made me understand that im not a crazy individual that is the only one out there on earth feeling worthless and insane.

I am 24 year old young man at the prime of his life with the world at his feet and can't anylonger breakthrough and be positive about the things that await me to experience, enjoy or acheive.. No long has the positivity, high spirits and energy, no longer the extremly happy/funny outgoing guy that loves making people laugh and just wants to interact with everyone.

I have unbelievable family, amazing friends! Am a qualified carpenter. Have a beautiful car that i love and enjoy just baught a boat to enjoy my hobbies with and also just baught a house by 24. I have achieved the things i always dreamed of having.  I have never ever been the greedy, selfish, self centered, up himself type at all. I'm the type that hates those trates and has a soft spot for those in need, always love to help those disabled or overweight and in need, the quiet and scared ones in the gym or out i feel sorry for and make them feel somewhat comfortable, involved, important and accepted. I myself have lived a fantasy life up until 23-24 'when i lost myself completely'.. I've always been popular through school, work, outings although very shy first off but very built/athletic and a decent looking guy, always humble and very far from over confident, therfor very misunderstood and misjudged by many. Because in this day and age the \\

dont know what this feeling is. - - Jan 4th 2013

hey tthere . I am a 19 year old female that suffers from something far more deep than just depression. I certainly dont wanna kill myself but i sure will die slowly on the inside. for the past 3 years ive been feeling this huge guilt about my stup decisions. I come from a foreing country and iam a born to be Muslim. I dont practice my religion and i would love to. I feel so guilty for that too. I feel that god hates me and iam going to hell. I feel that because i am not a virgin anymore i dont deserve to live. I feel ashamed and i feel worthless. My first partner was my first love and he took my virginity and left the country completely. I have grown to move on but not quite learn from my mistakes for two years i let myself go I forgot my core values and culture and my religion. For two years i gave up on my self because of what happened. For two years my awful mistakes built up and now and its coming back to haunt me. All i do now is exclude myself from people. I am in my room all the time. its been more than 3 years since i had a family meal together. I cant bare to look at my parents in their eyes. I feel like i betrayed them and myself. I was such a pure little princess known to do no harm and to protect herself. In my head all i can say to myself is WHY? What have i turned into? for two years i was lied to and promised marriage and promised so many things that were just lies to get what they wanted. until finally i found someone. That someone made me feel somewhat a little better about my self. He is truly my real love. But that someone has a sister that hates my guts. She doesnt think i am good enough for him and she doesnt want us having a future together. she told me i was a whore and that i am not at the same level her family is money wise. And that i have a bad reputation and our families wouldnt get along. Me and him have been together for one year and i have changed. I no longer am the person i was before i am more loyal and independent and so many things i cant compare to my past. I started to feel a little better but for this past year i have been kissing her butt so she can like me. Shes not perfect and shes done mistakes too and she is no better than i am. She brought me to the lowest point at my self esteem. 

Iam not good for her brother and that is all i can think of. Ive been crying for 16 hours straight because again i feel lonely and worthless and bad and unholy and dirty and going to hell. again i feel like i dont have a shot at a happy life. Again i feel worse than before and again i am afraid of everything and everyone 

i Cant look at myself anymore and i cant sleep and i cant concentrate i am simply wiriting because i have no one to talk to about my real feelings i am writing to let things go but i cant. My problem will never go away. How can someone hate themselves this much? and feel like they are going to hell? and feel ashamed? to the point that i feel like i dont deserve to have parents or a family. I dont know what to do :'(

Despite Deep Depression - - Jan 4th 2013

Dear friends on this website,

I happened across you because I am experiencing and have experienced for a good while now, symptoms of deep depression, I am sure.  I have felt for a while that many more people must be feeling depressed with the conditions of our world and personal lives than seem to socially show, but I was shocked at finding the burning facts on the website this morning.  Sadly, knowing that you are there, makes me feel less alone, less isolated.  I am sure of one thing though traveling through this pain, that while quite a few of us are feeling depressed and being dragged into the dark night of the sould by exterior circumstances, life altering answers and possibilities lie within us, life promoting actions are always there for our asking, that depression in a sense is itself a delusion though it may feel so real because I remain fundamentally sure that Love, Peace, Beauty, and Harmony form the core of our real nature, that a depressive reaction expresses exactly that - a temporary inability to be in a state of balance if not of light, and is a deep quest to return to a known, pre-experienced state of balance if not of light; and that there are important daily steps we can take to alter the effects of depression and bring on to us the brighter side through ways that connect with undeniably supportive  inner and surrounding energy.  I have found that if I welcome the day with a 30 minute walk on a beautiful day, and focus on the enormous bounty of nature out there for the asking and for the giving, I begin to feel a deep sense of gratitude for the mistery of living and my day takes on a very different, positive quality.  I offer my face to the rays of the morning sun and feel my deep connection to the freely offered elements of nature.  If the day is grey, I can choose to literally walk through the clouds, or walk in the rain, or remain at home and make a wonderful cup of tea, listen to beautiful music, read an uplifting book, get up and cook good hearty soup, something that connects me to my better sense perceptions, that can be so helpful.  I live close to the beach, which I love, but if not there are hills, or mountains, or lake, or forest, anything that nature can provide and that I can link to, either early morning if I can, or any time of day if I can't, is really really helpful.  Tune in to nature one step at a time, don't get off on meaningless mental gyrations, it will feed you its life supporting, abundant energy.  I have also found that the choices I make, what I feed my brain, my heart, my soul is of tremendous importance - depressive people may be unusually sensitive, compassionate people that yearn for something better, something of higher value, and are not finding a way yet; so the kind of music I hear, the kind of book I read, the kind of words I say, and God knows I seem to have lost a handle on those but keep trying, all that is immeasurably helpful to maintain a state of balance in and for my soul.  I believe I have the duty to sustain my life and soul, and the choices I make take me toward or away from my better self.  Part of my depression is that some not so wise choices I made in the past are still impinging on my present and I feel they are influencing my future, they are human choices I do not yet quite see how to disentangle myself from, though I be 67 and retired.  I know I could let it all go and fly off to so called freedom, but I believe in responsible action and keep reflecting daily on the needs that I myself require for a healthy life, and the hurt I could / would provide to others close in my life were I to act on my impulses.  I have heard of cognitive therapy, and in the end, I believe that spiritually even, it\\\'s all in the kinds of thoughts we nurture, which in turn alter our feelings toward things.  It is definitely a form of therapy I am looking into now and hope to find the right therapist for my needs.  Going back to supportive actions that dissolve the power of depressive delusion, I have also found that when I connect with like minded individual or groups, seeking people who are looking for greater solutions to life's problems, I feel nourished and much happier:  love the Peace Center near my home, various types of spiritually directed churches or temples, the Sierra Club, environmental / political activism groups, I love the arts, going to a beautiful show or a meaningful movie, and while I've been going through hugely difficult situations in the past five years both in relation to water damage at home, parental death and family illness and accident, I hope to connect to a community college near my home, take music classes, art classes particularly pottery, join a community theater group, do more volunteering to help young people and whatever causes that come up that I connect to.  Do not believe in your depression, but honor it, know that it is a deep cry for a recalibrating of your soul through the life choices you make, sometimes starting outside in can bring me closer to an inner state of balance.  Life is beautiful despite all its twists and turns, what a gift, what a deep blessing to know depression for it can guide me to much better pasture, one in which I feel the deep connection with life and other fellow human beings.  Thank you for being there today, bless you all, and may your life shine with the indelible ray of the sun that unfailing rises daily to nourrish us and care for us. 

why am I so depressed - Liah - Dec 23rd 2012
I don't know whats happening to me, and I'm scared of doing something that's stupid. I've lost the will to live, and its not because I'm angry with myself, its because whenever i get into a fight with my parents I feel as though I don't matter like my opinions don't matter. I am taking online schooling and I thought that they let me take it because I was a smart kid, but today my mom and I got into a fight and she told me that she had to "BEG" them to let me onto the program; it made me feel worthless and stupid. They told me that they think its time for me to grow up and start to see things the way they should be seen not the way that I supposably see them(not everything's a fantasy). They tell me that I live in a fantasy world, I STRONGLY DISAGREE!!! being made fun of for 5 years whenever you took a step inside of school getting called names being tripped isn't what I would call a fantasy world. I always tried to find ways to fit in. My parent fought with me later that day saying that I give up on everything, what they don't know is that i give up on everything because I feel like I'm not good enough to keep on trying, Like everyhting I try to do doesn't help it just adds to the problem i already had. I've tried to tell them but it seems that all they do is shove everything i say out the door, it hurts... it hurts me. Tell me Something..... What do I do, If they don't listen?

The stories I just read - - Dec 3rd 2012
After reading about some of these problems here, I am overwhelmed with the pain of others and what experiences in this life has hurt them, abused them,and isolted them..I dont trust people....I dont go to church...and I know myself too well to know Im not a big hope for anyone.....But, I learned a few little things that have made a huge difference in my daily living...
1: As I wake up in the morning...I simply admitt that Its too hard for me to do the things I want to...I ask the Lord to help me get up, strengthen me to do His will today...and supply me with His wisdom for any decisions I make.
2: I think its important to think about how He has helped me...and thank Him for it.All day!
3: I pray for the people I will be around...
4: Listen to His feedback ( by reading the Bible)...comforts me and revives me ...
5:And remembering that its His love for me...not my love thats faithful...grace...enough to live

no desire to live any longer - richie - Nov 20th 2012

Happiest fellow in world for 58 yrs. Financially secure- travelled and paid for 2 sons 100% through university. Contemplating retirement on life time savings and wife deides she wants to buy a business- I protest but she knew she would get her way. She failed in her business and lost way beyond the 100,000 we had agreed would be the cut off if it was not successful . I know she felt like a failure and I even sent her and her sis to BC and Mexico to get away while I oversaw shutting down the ops. I guess she knew I would encounter the 300,000.00 debt load she had burdened me with and on return from Mex. announced she was leaving (27 yrs.-no arguments). Her friends showed her how to max her share of matrimonial assets by "setting"me up as I was trying to settle her bus. loans. It worked and she saddled me with a severely depressed son who felt he caused the divorce. For 10 years now he has cost me 20,000/yr(no assistance) I have lost remainder of investments, homes, autos and Rev. Cda. has me well hooked so my gov't pension plan is seized- my income is less than 10,000 and I am begging to keep now 33 yr old son fed and warm. My ex said in court the son was a moral issue-not a legal and the judge agreed. So now am 68 with severe depressed son who has attempted suicide once and I cannot kick him out as he is all I have left. My 36 yr old is a naval commander married to a dr. and all the effort I put into him embarking on his career debt free is forgotten. I am refusing cancer treatment vs outright suicide and hard to cope with what happens to my sick son.... the system has failed him and he is now addicted to anti depression and anxiety meds. NO HOPE !!!! One last try for workable solution....

i am in a heavy depression or nervous breakdown - harry - Nov 18th 2012

smebody help me plz,.....

itz about 2 years ago ., iwas a cheerful boy happily lived and let the people live hapiy , i faalll in love , imy heart was broken ,, nobody undrstands me , my friends use to make fun of me ,, they always use to low my confidence even though i look good, ,,,, i am not able to take any right decisions feelings hopes and dreams are getting hurted again and it feels like frustrated ,  angry , irritatedlost in the other world, no hope to live , LIVE FOR WHOM AND FOR WHAT  ,ITS LIKE BEING IN KOMA......PLZ SORT ME OUT OF IT IT IS EATING ME DAY BY DAY ......

listen - jose huerta - Nov 17th 2012

i need someone to talk to. please.


ups and downs - JASON - Nov 4th 2012

For almost 10 years iv'e been suffering from depression .It never ever goes away.All you can do is just try and deal with it the best you can.I find the best way to cope is by being physically active (Healthy body=Healthy mind)  you have to fight this demon any way you know how.From experience i know when my depression is going to be bad.Usualy after two or three stressful situation in close proximity i can feel it begin to change me. It's then you must get active before it takes over .If i let it take hold of me i will lose my will to think clearly to do anything about it.Then the only option is to see your GP/Doctor for meds.Good luck to everyone reading this.Tomorrow is another day and theres a very good chance you will feel better than today

Why can't I accomplish anything when I'm alone? - - Oct 20th 2012

I don't know if I'm depressed or what but I can't seem to do anything when I'm alone. I watch tv or sleep. But when there's someone else at home I go into overdrive and do everything on my To Do List. Why do I need company to get anything done? I go to work around 5pm everyday. So on my way to work after a day of doing absolutely nothing  my mind starts to work again...I should have done this, or I was supposed to go there, or I was supposed to work out, etc. So I start making mental notes of what I should do tomorrow and I'm excited and determined to get those things done. But when tomorrow comes and no one is around I'm back to watching tv or sleeping. Any suggestions?

Jesus is my hope and future - hopeful in Jesus Christ - Oct 16th 2012

i have depression that arose from extreme severe guilt and shame from my sins. i have done a few things that shatterred me. after i did those things i didn't feel severely depressed, but it was a few years after that i started to get these type of OCD/blasphemous thought. i realized pornagraphy was/is the source of my severe depression/anxiety/panic attacks/wanting to cry every time i talk to someone. after a few years of contanly watching pornagraphy, i started to get extremely perverted thoughts. the thoughts is what built and feeds on this severe depression. when i am walking in the street i get panic attacks, but i do a great job at hiding it from the public. when people look at me my legs get numb and feel like i am about to faint. i cannot control this, and a few years back i thought all i need to do was not get anxious when people look at me, and walk with confidence no matter what. but now that my depression is so severe i cannot control it, it has become a desease. Jesus is what gives me hope and the strength to walk and socialize. God has and will heal me, as long as i don't give the devil a chance to attack if i fall for temptation. God is here to fight for me and protect me.

I dont want to leave my house. - - Oct 10th 2012

 I know I suffer from depression and anxiety. After years of trying many antidepressants I know longer feel like I will ever be cured. I look back on my life as one big mess. I feel guilty that my oldest son isnt happy either. I believe he suffers from social anxiety or mild aspergers. Now he wants to transfer from college that is 2 hours away to up north. he hasnt made friends. I dont thinks he knows how. My obsession with trying to figure his problem out and help him has made my state of mind worse. I fear if he continues to not be able to find happiness he will give up on life. like I have. I have thought about what it would be like to be gone but I cant go because It would destroy my sons and sister. I have to go on. I cant leave my house lately. Its weird but I dont want to be in the house all the time but cant seem to leave. Im stuck. I told myself I have to go out today. I am going to try. Im down to one close friend and my sister. I cant keep telling them how miserable I am. Afraid I will lose the close friend but not my sister. My parents are dead and every since they died and my kids have gotten older I feel no purpose in life. I dont know what I like to do. I dont feel romantically in love with my husband anymore but trapped because I cant support myself and dont want to hurt my children. He ruined everything by having an affair 4 years ago and never owned it. I have little respect for him. Had to get this of my chest. There are so many problems it is hard. I wish I could have had a different life. wish I could get up in the morning and work. I dont sleep enough so I am so tired in the mornings and full of depression and anxiety I talk myself out of it. I wish I had a lot of money because I would go places in the world. I dont feel like im every going to see the world. I dont want to leave my house but I could get on a plane. I know that is weird but true. Thanks for listening.

Medical records & custody - - Jul 8th 2012

I have been dealing with horrible depression for 5 years or so and it is increasingly getting worse. Along with the symptoms of depression, now I am constantly paranoid that everyone is against me, talking behind my back, lying to me and just hates me. If it wasn't for my little children, i wouldn't care what happens to me.I'm afraid to seek medical attention for fear of it being recorded in my medical files for my ex husband to use as leverage with custody etc of my children. He has told me more than once "I'm crazy". 

many things wrong - jenny - Dec 7th 2011

i know for sure that i have horrible anger issues...everyone knows that including frends and family...but im having so much trouble paying attention in class because my mind seems to be in 100 different places at once and a i took the add/adhd quiz on here and it said i have bad add...and a lot of crap has happened to me in my lifetime and im just starting to not care anymore and i took the depression quiz and scored a 54 wich is major too ashamed to tell my family any of so just lost, what do i do?

I need help. - Shannon - Jun 11th 2011

I have been through a lot in my life from dishonesty, bad relationships, raped at 21, I was in a 4 year relationship where 2 and a half years I was beaten, but I am a good person. I would help anyone if they ever needed me. I have been with my last boyfriend for a year and a half. We been through ups and downs with trust issues. I trust him, just some things seem funny, and I believe he trusts me too. We just broke up because of something that happened with another female. He wasnt involved with the other female to my knowledge but everytime I needed some time to think, I may have over reacted but he always leaves me if something goes wrong. I have been through so much in my life that I feel there is no hope anymore for me. I have done everything I could have for this man, but I feel so worthless and all I am starting to do is cry over the situation. I am not sure if it is because he left me or because I feel I have missed my train so long ago. I am not sure what to do. I am crying out for help right now because I feel like doing nothing but laying in bed and crying. I have no interest in anything. I do not know what to do. Please help me. What should I do?

secrets - janet - Jan 1st 2011

i have among many problems major depression. i kept my feelings a secret and had voices tell me to do so or bad things would happen to me. But when i finally admitted to being sad to my dr. and got phyc. help with some meds. i realized that nothing bad happened. it was hard to tell my husband of 21 years of my secret. i wore a mask for everyone to see and no one had a clue. its been 4 years now and i still have a panic attack if i have to talk about it because i still consider it my secret. but i'm better now, not cured or feel normal. I still have to work on my problems= i mean meds won't make everything go away! You have to believe they will help and work with them. Don't let it be a secret for 25 years like i did. Talk to a dr. and if they dont help get a different dr. only you know what your feeling-- my first dr. told me i had to much stress. my second dr. sent me straight to a pschy. dr. where i got the best help i could have wished for. I also demanded a prescription for a therapy dog. he calms my panic attacks or just bad days. anyone with anxiety or panic attacks should look into a therapy animal.  I also have 3 daughters, all have a variation of personality disorders. i talk about these problems and support them. i won't let them go thru what i did as a teen.

Scared - Jennifer - Dec 30th 2010

Im 12. i read all over the internet about depression because i want answeres. on the symptoms,i have had 8 out of 9 of them going on continuously for the past 4 months. I dont tell any one and my friends and family are being pushed away. ive hurt myself and im really sscared what will happen next. i want help. :'(

I Will Not Be Ignored - sweetrebel87 - Dec 7th 2010

For about thirteen years secrecting i've suffered from these spells of crying but what reason i never knew. On the outside i appeared normal like i had it all together but inside i was a train wreck just waiting to happen. ever 2 or 3 months i would all of a sudden few down and like my soul was bare nake for veryone to see so i would hide in my room underneath the covers and cry. than after say 2 months i would be perfectly fine like nothing evr happen. I would snap out of it and feel an overwhelming sense of happiness,talkative ,and light hearted. But as the years went by i begined to become angry and bitter when i would go into these spells of crying. it was like i was a different person. no onw knew who i was anymore it was like my personality was completely reversed. Before all of this i must to smile and be a joy to be around ,but noways im wreckless,andry, emotionally imbalanced,and i don't know when im going to have an episode and freak out on someone for something that irittated me or mishear a conversation and think that someone said something bad about me. I even accussed my friend of doing that a few times of the paranoia and hearing of voice.

Help? - - Oct 18th 2010


About three months ago, I went away for two weeks or so on my own, but while I was away I suddenly, after three or four days became lonely, nervous, paranoid and couldn't stop crying. Ever since, for some reason I have changed and to make things worse loads of awful things happened to me. I just an overwhelming emptiness, worrying and anxiety these days. I always feel cold and sick but I never eat anything. I am always really tired and lonely, have become incredibly scared at everything and have lost all hope in everyone and everything. I am always aching and in pain.I can't get up in the morning so I roll out of bed and smack my head on the tiled floor and lie there in a heap crying until I drag myself up and try to pull myself together. I never feel like eating and just don't think I deserve to live. I manage to just get through school, although everyone has noticed, even my teachers. I used to be very talkative and cheerful but now I just lie with my head in my hands or just smack it on the desk in lessons. But anyway nobody cares they just find it quite amusing. One of my teachers pulled me aside and seriously concerned asked me what we wrong so I said nothing and just ran out. I hate everybody there. Somehow I have managed to keep it from my family but I fear they will suspect something soon. About a year ago I had some problems I made numerous plans for suicide but never had the guts to do it, because I'm a stupid, worthless coward like that. I guess you will all say go to a Doctor but as I said I'm a coward. Don't know why I even wrote this, I apologise for wasting your time with this. Have a good day. (It will be better than mine, thats for sure.)


pain - karen - Jul 15th 2010

i can not see my grandkids my son only come if i pay him

i want the pain to stop

Help! - Brianna - Apr 18th 2010

I don't know what to do anymore, for the past couple of months sense problems arose with my boyfriend and I of 3years he second guessed everything we have. I get upset and sad all the time i cry for no reason lately the past two weeks, i dont wanna talk to my friends, i dont wanna see them, i get mad for NO reason at all. I can't take it i dont sleep anymore. Last night i had a dance show i was somewhat happy before i performed but i was rly irritated an then after i just got mad, an i cried, an i just dont wanna be here anymore. i dont think about suicide, i just cant live here in this town with these people. Anytime im at home im always in my room, I cant tell my parents because they wont believe me. I go to the doctor tomorrow an i rly wana tell my doctor. but i dont think he would believe me either. Lately it seems like i do nothing right for anyone around me. I feel like all my "friends" hate me an talk behind my back. My boyfriend doesnt even understand im tryn to talk to him and he just gets pissed off saying im always mad. An i want it to stop i wanna become a better person but i cant help but cry, an be alone........I just cant live this way, I need HELP! My friends even see it, they keep telling me i need to tell someone but im afraid everyone will just say im sick, an all my mom will say is oh you must be pregnant! but theres no way i can be....Please help me:'(

Re: A REASON - Sloan - Mar 6th 2010

I can certainly relate to what you're saying here and I have to tell you something: I've been feeling exactly the same for a few months, and simply by reading these comments of others I feel more hopeful. What I'm trying to say is that we're all in this together. And after a while of going round and round in our heads trying to find meaning and reason we begin to literally lose sight of the outside world, and the situations that other people are enduring very similar to our own. One thing that I've found is that simply being with other people, like friends and family, helps sooo much. It sometimes makes me forget what I was so sad about in the first place. I know it's really difficult to bring yourself to just drop everything in an instant and just go socialize with others, but it really is the best thing for it. I've found that the best tool for helping me through tough times is to imagine exactly how you would act if someone you loved was going through the same thing. You would not regard them in the same way that you regard yourself-- you would want them to feel better, and you would value who they were beyond anything else. That is the same love and respect you deserve from yourself. I know it's hard, trust me I know, but just know that you're working against the same tide that many others are...including myself. And last of all, I care if you stay- If that helps at all. Everyone on this comment board does. 

dealing with someone elses depression - helpless - Mar 5th 2010

my girlfriend recently became very depressed and has always had anxiety problems! she tells me she loves me everyday and yet it seems she tries to avoid me! we had a weekend planned and all the sudden she changed her mind and rather be with her friends for a night on the town. she says she needs to keep busy and have fun but why cant she do these things with me!? she laughs and giggles with everyone until shes with me then she becomes distsant but yet says we are fine! im so confused on how to help her i given her space to work her problems out but it seems worse by the min! i need help i love her and cant lose her because of this what can i do?

lost interest in everything - Holly - Jan 1st 2010

Hi, I'm thirteen. I have not gone to a docter and I don't want to... I don't wan't to do anything. I've lost interest in everthing; even Christmas which I love. I have not confirmed with a docter that I have depression but I'm positive I do. The sadness never goes away. I feel as though I'm worthless, everone is better than me, and I don't deserve anything. I have every symptom listed. I feel like I don't even want to be friends with the friends I have anymore. I just want to be alone. I feel so droupy and weak. I hate myself. I don't like going out in public because I have absolutely no self esteem and I always think people are talking about me when they talk quietly or start laughing. I cry for no apparent reason; I just always feel miserable. I get mad easily around other people. I have a lack of energy and I'm always tired. I have thought about suicide but I wouldn't do it, i'd be too afraid to... although I really don't want to live anymore. At school a few days ago someone told me I have a depressed look and I'm always down... no kidding. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and with depression it certainly doesn't help. Also I have an alcoholic father that I have to deal with. It's not just being drunk on special occassions... it's every single day. My parents are always fighting and my mother takes her anger out on my brother, sister, and I. The house is about to be forclosed and I don't really get along with any of my family. Also, I read on another website that depression affects your memory. I have a TERRIBLE memory! I am very paranoid and whenever I feel like another thing I love is going to be taken away from me, I hide my stuff. Well since I have a bad memory, I can't find the things I hid. Wonderful. I don't think I'll ever find my pandora bracelet. Well, this is getting long. I can obviously keep going on but I just wanted to vent a little. I'm glad I was able to read your stories and that all of you understand because I don't have anyone I can trust or talk to... even though if I did I wouldn't tell them. I'm not an open person. Well, thanks for reading.

It might be Guilt - - Nov 15th 2009

Harriet - it might be guilt or possibly self-hate that is causing you to need for things to go wrong.  You may feel that you don't deserve to have everything going well.  Yes, that could be the depression working.  Children often feel guilty when their folks break up, thinking (incorrectly) that maybe they had something to do with the breakup.  I couldn't know if that is the case with you, but your symptom could be part of the depression.

A question of symptoms? - Harriet - Oct 27th 2009

Hello, I am a 16 year old, and have just started my A levels. I have been suffering from depression for about two years now, ever since my parents split. I now understand the concept and have learnt to accept my condition. However, I have researched for a while now and still have one question. There is one symptom I seem to have which I can not find as a symptom of depression and was wondering if it is at all or an entirely different thing all together. I keep finding myself in desperate need to have something wrong in my life, whether it is physical, mental, emotional or a family member's problem. As soon as everything is happy and working well for me, I have to find something wrong. I think it may be a way for me to cope, I'm not sure. Please help with my query and thank you for reading. H.

Keep your head up - - Sep 9th 2009

 I can understand how you feel, because we all have gone through a teenage love. I also know because I have a son that is your age and he too has gone through the same thing. Understand we all make mistakes, and some mistakes take longer to learn from. You can still love the young lady, but rest assure that another will come along. You have the rest of your life. It is always hard to get over someone you love as a teenager and as an adult. You must not blame yourself and hold yourself down. If you do, she or anyone else will not be able to see what a wonderful person you are mistakes or no mistakes. Talk to your mom, we talk your heads off, but know how you feel you never know it could help. =)

Its about me... - Atishay Jain - Sep 1st 2009

Dear mam,

I am a teenage boy of 15 years of age. Its been more than a month since I went deep down in a depression state. The thing is that I just want to share my feelings, that is it. I don't want to seek any help or something because it won't help me out. So the matter with me is that, the girl I love the most in this whole world, is not in relationship with me anymore. Actually, this all happened because of me. There ain't no fault of her. Infact I'd say, she is so good at heart that she forgived me for the thousands mistakes I did. But I did it again. I hurted her again. But i swear on my mother's life i never intended to hurt her. I cannot even dream of hurting her. The thing is that my luck didn't favor me. And since i lost her, nothing has been good at my part. Not even a single thing! My mom and dad are angry with me and ain't talking to me. I failed in all my examinations held in th prevoious month. I lost my happiness which is related to her. And my mom's gonna leave this home if i ain't going to tell her the reason of my sadness within a week. I lost everything!! I just need just one last to prove my love for her but its real hard you see. But trust me mam, this time I've even prayed to God, so that my luck favors me now. And I won't hurt her ever, I swear on my mother's life. I feel so suffocated, so lonely, so helpless, so hopeless from within. Please mam, pray for me. I will be highly obliged. I also request my fellow internet users to pray to God for me. Thank you all for giving your precious time to read this message.

My Dad - Amy - Aug 31st 2009

Hi I am 18 and just recently came back to live with my dad after he and my mother split 4 years ago, I feel he is depressed he shuts himself off from everyone, gets angry because everyone has someone but him, he has no interest in interecting with people, and he is pushing everyone away he doesnt sleep much hes lost all interest in work which he used to love he has been given a really good opportunity a friend helped him start a buisness 4 years ago. I am finding it very difficult because he is lashing out at me and everyone else who loves him. I cannot speak to my family about it because they wud worry to much and if i approach him about anything he gets angry at me. I don't know how i can help him and I am finding that I dont want to be around him at all. I once had a very close relationship with my dad and he used to talk to me now he just yells and gets angry he loved his horses now he just can't be bothered with them. What do i do?? I need to somehow get through to him before he pushes everyone away and I scared that he is going to hurt himself as he drinks a fair bit and becomes to drunk to stand. Can someone please help me??



My husband has been suffering - Mrs. Timberlake - Aug 26th 2009

My husband has been suffering along time with his mom being sick and his brother being sick and then find out that his uncle,and close cousin was sick too, and then all of a sudden they all start dieing one month at a time. After all that he haven't worked since 2001 he had been on his job for 24yrs. And he developed a lung disease and then he couldn't work anymore, so then he be came very depressed and so know he's been fighting disabilty every since 2001. and with the mental illness and the lung disease and all other health isssues he would be able to get on. Also he suffer from aphobea he haven't been outside for about 3mos.

Way off key! - NACY DALRYMPLE - Aug 24th 2009

I had alot of thing's that were barthering me and i also thought i was depressed but it was not as bad as i thought. i had started to take Vitimin B12 stress tabs and alot went away. i was lacking the energy i needed and the vitimin helped break down food into energy. Alot of times people are treated for depression and need vitimins, and other suppliments that doctors fail to tell you I suggest you people go and try this before you take any chemicals and if you are taking Ambien it can cause depression also i take it and I have noticed that was happening so i have trouble sleeping for years i have to find something differnt. They said it was the one with the least side effects but i don't think so. that's my story and i'm sticking to it! Nancy

Help for you - MJ - Jul 28th 2009


For your 19 yr old daughter, call your local MHMR.  They can help you and connect you with the proper facility should your daughter need inpatient care. 


where do i get help - gail farrel - Jul 25th 2009

hi,my daughter is 19 and has just been admitted to hospital.she is aggresive,doesnt sleep,doesnt eat,cries alot,thinks everyone is out to get her.she self harms either throughcutting herself or eating foods she is allergic to so she goes into shock. her dad died 2 years ago and it has been getting worse ever since.she now has a very abusive.controlling boyfriend.i want to help her but i have no idea where to go to get help for me so i can help her deal with life in tyhe proper way not in the distructive way she is currently doing. PLEASE HELP ME. i am also a victim

symptoms - jay - Jul 13th 2009

i was wondering if major depression and low self esteem can cause a person to walk funny,like an abnormal gait??also can it have an effect on speech??i stutter alot more than i use to

Editor's Note: The more severe Major Depression becomes, the more likely a person is to display 'psychomotor retardation' which is a sort of general slowing down of normal movements like walking.  This can be pronounced enough of an effect as to be 'abnormal' in character, but usually it is an abnormal slowing of one's pace more than oddness of gait, etc.  Speech similarly can become affected.  I'm not sure how common stuttering is as a side effect of Major Depression - I suspect that only people who stuttered originally would be affected - but stuttering can be affected by emotional state so I don't see it as odd that stuttering could b affected. 

myself - - Jul 2nd 2009

i have just turned sixteen and i have also just cme out of a secure hospital ,i usually feel up and down but now i feel empty , i had a therapist who i got on really well with and i havent seen he in ages,i feel i have been left here to struggle on my own, i have no-one to talk to ,not even a friend,i have never been diagnosed with depression or any othere depressive illnesses but i feel it , maybe its because i try not to show my feelings,why upset others and make them feel how i feel,i wouldnt say im suicidal because im scared of death but life seems pointless and i dont see why i am hear , i dont feel hungry anymore or like doing anything , but i suppose i cant be that unhappy otherwise i wouldnt have bothered coming on this website as a way of releasing my feelings , what upsets me most is that when i was in hospital for the majority of the time i was happy,i liked the staff and was able to talk but now , its gone

HELP - - Jun 30th 2009

I can identify with all the comments so I guess I am depressed.  However, I am so confused why do I have no energy or interest in the things I like to do?  It is like an effort to move.  Have a loving family, but no energy to get off the couch and do anything.  I feel like the laziest person in the world.  Is this a normal action of a depressed person.  WHAT DO I DO TO FIND ENERGY?  Looking for help!

CBT vs. Medication - Allan N. Schwartz, PhD - Jun 26th 2009

Dear Bev.,

The answer to your question is somewhat complicated. Your GP and Psychologist are not completely right nor are they completely wrong. Here is what I mean.

Symptoms vary from one person to the next and, therefore, so does the treatment. If a patient with Major Depression is so completely overwhelmed with symptoms that they cannot get out of bed and are in danger of suicide they will need hospitalization and medication treatment. Once stabilized, they will be psychologically open to CBT and, later, be able to gradually stop the medication.

However, another patient diagnosed with Major Depression may not be so deeply depressed at the moment so that they cannot function. They feel awful but continue to go to work, and are able to go to the doctor's office. This patient will be able to take full advantage of CBT without medication because they still have enough energy to move forward with their life.

There is also the issue of age. The older a person is and the longer they have been depressed, the less likely it is that CBT alone will resolve the symptoms.

There are even cases where someone is so deeply depressed that neither psychotherapy nor medication relieves their symptoms. These individuals sometimes become candidates for Electro Convulsive Therapy. Now, there is new treatment, still experimental, where electrodes are placed in the part of the brain where the cause of the symptoms seem to be located and automatic stimulation relieves and prevents any further deep depression.

Hope this helps,

Dr. Schwartz

Cognitive beahiour Therapy - Bev - Jun 26th 2009

Dear Editor

You state that it is possible to start this therapy & control Depression without antidepressants. Well, my GP says (& so does my psycologist) that it is useless to try to work with a patient who is not medicated. They say that Cognitive BEhaviour Therapy doens't allow them to work effectively with the patient, till the are on a contolling dose of meds. Please give your opinion.

Sounds Like Me - MMT - Jun 9th 2009

First, I'm glad I found this site.  I'm 45, been married for 20 years (next week) and have 2 beautiful daughters (13 & 11).  I've struggled with depression since childhood.  I take meds, have had therapy and been prayed for by dedicated Christians.  There are times of relief but it's always lingering.  

I started and am the president/ceo of a multimillion dollar medical staffing company.  08 was fantastic but 09 has been difficult financially.  I live in a 4800 sq' home on coastal water with a dock, have a boat, sea doo and a BMW 750Li.  I work out twice a week with a personal trainer and run or ride a bike a couple more days a week.  However, I'm sad, angry, stressed, frustrated, guilty and have turned into a negative spouse and father.  Oh, I can still muster up a pretty good face in business meetings or social events but it takes a lot of energy and concentration.  I have zero close friends because I don't want to make the effort.  I'd rather be alone. 

Recently, my wife checked herself into rehab (alcohol) and has been sober for close to 90 days.  I went to one meeting with her but I'm so focused on my own well being that my interest in her needs have diminished.  Thus, no needs in our relationship are being met...physical, mental or spiritual.  She's about had it and my girls don't like being around me.  Man, am I having a pity party or what?  I feel so selfish.  I hate this.  This is not the person I desire to be.  I want to love my wife and girls with all of my heart.  They don't deserve to be cheated.   Somebody say something! 

A REASON... - audrey - Jun 2nd 2009

I have major depression, and am struggling to find a reason- a good reason why I should stay here......  Other than to just take care of others. No interest in anything anymore. Been like this for two years.... When does it end? Will it lift????

try this.... - - Jun 1st 2009

well, first of all posting your blog is a big step to healing. Talking about it with a someone who's been where  & who will understand and not pass judgment is important for us. We have to be able to vent and talk freely and sometimes talking to a trusted person is not alway best (through our eyes)at least). As strange is it may seem you should call a hot line. They have trained ppl who'll listen and give advice & there is no time limit unlike that of a therapist offc. I used to volunteer for one, ppl would call at all hours of the night just to talk and vent. I highly recomend it to anyone if you seek to talk to some one ASAP. They are there for you. I hope this helps.


this is total agony - - Jun 1st 2009

I have just discovered this site and it is so good to hear others suffer the same as me. I have a great husband and three great kids. I have a great job lots of friends and a nice life....but... this depression does not care !! Having suffered depression all my life and I think my mum did to, as I remember her dark moods, it has now reached the worst ever. Irrational thoughts nausea,panic, fear, trembling ,tiredness, feeling hopeless. Yesterday we went to the beach and I was sure that this would be a lasting memory for my kids. Such a lovely day and fun for all. I drank vodka all day and wrote my 'notes' last night.But I am still here this morning. My suicidal thoughts has now moved beyond 'not for the sake of the kids' as the agony of this illness is overwhelming.I have taken ssri meds and tried to get help from professionals but nothing helps. The stigma of this is too great to bear as I have been a great pretender all my life putting on a brave face . Being the life and soul of the party and dying inside. I cant talk to my husband and only to one good friend but she is backing off a little too. This is crap and what should I do.??

Depression - Jack - May 30th 2009

Hey Carly this is in response to what you have wrote. I definitely know what you are talking about. I have had anxiety and depression my whole life. There are times that i cannot function and going out in public is a real task. I do not want to be around anybody, but i dont want to be alone. I feel tired all the time and cannot seem to get enough sleep. Sometimes i have crazy dreams and crazy thoughts that come through my mind. I need someone to help me. I dont understand i sometimes feel very happy and then all the sudden i will be depressed for a certain amount of time. It could be weeks or months. I am currently in iraq right now and i dont know what i am going to do. I feel like i am going out of control and the stress is too much. Just stand strong Carly i am right there with you. If anything we understand what eachother is going through.


I don't really know how to start this - let's just say I'm trying to find a different way to reach out. I have depression and anxiety, have had for many years now, and it just won't stop. That's the word right? Stop! Just everything stop! I don't understand how anybody is expected to live like this. There have been a lot of things that have happened in my life, but I don't want to even write about them. To be honest, I've been having CB therapy for years and have grown tired of telling my story over and over - I feel like it falls on deaf ears. The doctors listen and make their notes, and i guess it's good to talk...... but then you have to go home. And nothings changed, right? I still sit there rocking on my bed, crying for hours without a reason, trying to think straight with no success, feeling like i'm going insane, unable to tidy, make myself something to eat, shut my head up, stop the fuzzy whizzing shooting through my ears, or even brush my teeth. I've had depression my whole life, had a breakdown three years ago at age 20 and things have been worse since. I think I'm scared of sleeping, or maybe of waking up, I'm always exhausted because I can't get a good sleeping pattern no matter how hard I try, my body hurts, aches all over, I can't work, couldn't finish college because of how long I was in hospital after the breakdown, I don't want to be around anyone but I don't like the loneliness, I have no friends, my family believe that I should just 'get over it', which hurts me a lot, I can't even leave the house. I've been using my family as my reason to carry on, try to think of how much it will hurt them if I was gone, even though I hardly see them. But things have changed in me. I can't seem to feel properly, emotionally I'm nearly completely detached from existence. And it just doesn't seem enough anymore, I need a reason to live through this hell, this pain that never goes away but I see no future for me. That person who wanted a career, husband and family is gone. This disease has killed her and all that's left is pain. I guess that's why I'm writing. If you have no close family, no friends and no life, what's the reason to fight? To live in pain? I know there are many unanswered questions, but this one needs to be answered, I'm begging you - why?!! Please help.  

depression... - patti - Apr 8th 2009


i have been depressed for 2 years and i am miserable.  i had a brain injury 2 years ago and i wished i would have died then. it would have been easier than what i am going through now. i have tried to kill myself twice, and now my physciatrist says i should go through eloctro therepy, and because i have 3 kids i have agreed to do it, but i am nervous about it i dont know why but  i am   if anyone has had shock therepy please advise,\

thank you,

Feeling secluded - Suzie - Mar 21st 2009

Can anyone help? For quite a while now I've been feeling secluded at uni. It's not that I don't like it but my course doesnt mean you have to be in alot and my flatmates seem to have alienated me. I'm trying to make it better but not sure if am making it worse. I have always had bad feelings sometimes in my life but now it seems more often and want to know if I may have mental problems. I also like being either completely alone but if people are in the house I want to be included.

TO KELLI - BETH - Mar 4th 2009

hey kelli,

i know exactly how you feel, just hang in there. Remember that this too shall pass. find some strength in others that love you and want to help.

To the previous poster...Khelli - Dr.T - Feb 15th 2009

Hi Khelli,  I undersand what you are feeling and how you could feel the way you do. Believe it or not, everyone has felt the way you do and no one in this life, no matter how happy they appear or say they are, can avoid some point in their life when they're depressed, stressed, and just simply tired of the repetative nature of life and all of its trials and tribulations. I am also a young woman and I have experienced many of life's transitions, both good and bad, and it takes a lot of strength, determination, and motivation to get through it. But once you do, you will more so appreciate the joy that has come out of all that you have had to experience. It may not seem that way now, it never does, but one day you will look back and appreciate what you've had to experience. A lot of times pain makes you a better person, depression makes you more compassionate to others, and can open a world of wonderful things to you that you may not have noticed without pain. You know? If not, you will one day.

Have you considered counseling or speking with someone about your depression? It doesn't always have to be a conventional psychologist or counselor. It can certainly be a spiritual guidance counselor, someone who can give you a spiritual boost or encourage you to try mindful meditation or something to help you cope. I would encourage you to try a meditation and educational CD called "The mindful way through depression." You can visit and type in the name. As a student of clinical psychology I have seen this CD work for some. Music and art therapy are also attractive choices. In fact, those who suffer from depression say that classical music puts their mind at ease and certain piano sonatas

I hope you will consider what I have said and please try to remember that no matter how bleak it may get, things can't stay that way forever.

I wish you well.

What Do I Do From Here? - Khelli - Feb 15th 2009

I was recently rediagnosed with depression and anxity by my doctor. Alot has happened to me in my short lifetime, from sexual abuse to me attempting suicide, to commiting a violent crime which ruined my already terrible life, my pediatric doctor first noticed my behavior when I was around 12 and my brother and I were fighting and o hit him in the head with a glass vase. She sent me to a psycologist who after finally opening up to her, died 3 months into our sessions which caused me to go off of my medication and being treated for my depression, I since then knew it was there and on several occasions tried to commit suicide. Alot has happened since then  which brings me to where I am now. I am a mother of 3, I recently had to make a decision that has caused more things to go downhill in my life, no one really understands what I am going through. I dont feel that I am a good mother so I currently live with my grandmother, at 22 everything I have attepted to put effort into has failed, after I graduated highschool nothing has been easy as expected but for me, I jus hate my life it seems as though as soon as I try to piece my terrible life togather, an event happens, im on meds and that dont seem to work, I always feel like the negative comments people around me make are directed toward me and now the onl outlet I had to clear my mind has been taken from me because for my case I was placed on a very restrictive home monitering witch does not allow me to carry out anything even so simple as going to the grocery store, I feel like a prisoner in my own house and im starting to fell down to a point that I dont want to be here, I dont want to live this life, I hate my life and often I become agitated and irritable to a point where if my children call my name in one of my mood swings I become upset and yell and have to often lock myself in my room to stay away from noise and problems because in an instant I can snap, I hate being like this, thats why im in a position that I am now, I allowed a girl to get to me so bad (which doesn;t take much at all) to the point that I aften have thoughts of harming her or myself to not be bothered with it, and it caused me to hit her with a bat causing her to lose a tooth, I thought I releaved the stress but within 3 days I was irritable all over again, I dont know what to do with myself now, I wanted to check into a mental health institution but I hate being secluded, it drives me to start hallusinating creating events and talking to people that were not there, I am so confused because at this point I feel as though im bonafied crazy, i;ve gain 37 pounds in 4 months, I cant sleep at night and often will wake up at 8 am and not get to sleep til around 4 am almost everyday, i've ruined every relationship i've had I hurt and I want it to go away, what to do?  Somebody help me!!!!!!!! Please

I need help - Peggy - Feb 14th 2009

I am new with this depression. My husband is being treated for depression.

He seems to be getting worse. I am the only one home with him daily and I am the ane that gets all his frustation out on. He does not hit but he does verbal .all the time. He is determined in his mind I'm having an affair. Which I have never in our 22 years of marriage ever thought of doing.  But in his mind I am a lier and cheater. He is a totaly different person. For 4 years now thing have gone down hill. I don't know if the meds. are really helping him. I don't know how to find out more or what to do before this ends in divorce for us. Can you help.

To Concerned Wife - Jim - Feb 4th 2009

Your husband needs help and is probably trying to reach out. Who is administering the meds? Is it just his medical doctor, or a qualified psychiatrist?

 It doesn't sound like he is in some sort of therapy. He needs it.

 Can you get him to go to a doctor, therapist, or maybe even a pastor or preist? With the suicide thoughts, all would recommend he get treated. They say that these things are driven by the chemicals in our body and that the drugs can help. 

Give him a safe place to talk this out and get proper treatment. 

God bless you, your husband and your family. 

i cant get better even if my life is fine - darcy - Feb 3rd 2009

um hey. i feel depressed a lot, sometimes for no reason. i seem to have a good life, and i do in some ways. but ive been a cutter for about 5 months now, and i have anorexic eating habits. ive been trying on and off to get better, but i like to cut because it gives me some sense of control in my life. i feel inadequate and i have an unfortunate knack for messing stuff up. i hurt people with my "habits" and it makes me feel like a horrible person. i feel alone a lot so i just felt like getting this off my chest. so um yeah.

Dont know what to do anymore.... - Dan - Feb 2nd 2009

Okay so.....I'm a teenager, still in highschool, its my last year. I graduate in three months and i honestly feel like i dont think im going to make it. I feel like my parents are completly against everything i do, My "girlfriend" and my "best friend" are talking alot more than they should and i just feel like everyhting i falling apart. I've felt like taking a gun to my head and just getting it over with since the 7th grade. I dont get along with alot of people because i get mad way to easy, I will not cooperate in social events ever, I in general just don't like being around other people. I get way to nervous. I used to cut.....but i stopped doing it because i realized that its just a stupid way of getting attention and it solves absolulty nothing. However, half the time i dont eat right, I eat pills more than i should , I cry alot, And when i'm "Happy" i'm still sad about something or find some way to wreck my good mood. I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm so ready to just pack everything i have and jump in the car and drive. So ... yea i don't know, I'm sorry for whoever is reading this, i just wasted your time. But yea, i guess it just feels good to vent sometimes, and the werid thing is , I'm venting on an open internet site, i have no idea who's gonna read this , so yea. idk ......i just want to know if i've got depresssion or if its just because i'm stupid and want attention.

What the hell is wrong with me !!! - Dawn - Jan 16th 2009

I am one of those people that when the help is there i convince them i will be alright. When i am in that place when i need it the most, i am a very good lier. They listen too, i dont understand it becuse i will admit to u, i am am a cutter. I am 26 years old i have been doing this for awhile. I have a few people in my Family that arn't quite right in the head. I have looked at them and always laughed about it. It is not funny anymore becuse i find myself here right now. To make it all better i cut myself. I have 3 Kids that one day for no reason just gave them up. There are reasons for it i just did't wake up one day and decide it, it just happend becuse that was was the best thing i could do . My crazy uncle that i took care of that is skitzo raped my little girls i found that out after i gave them away, so u can kind of understand why i want to hurt. I cant get any better anymore i am beyond that and i convince everyone else that i am am ok I am so sick of them beleiving my lies. its not just that either i have been Mad and Pissed OFF my whole life and everytime everything is going good i doo something to mess it up. i am tired of being a good lire i really need help before i cut myself any deeper/.I dont think my arm can take one more cut. I am sorry but that is just trhe  way it is i just think i am beyond help.

how do you convince someone they need help - Concerned Wife - Dec 16th 2008

Hi all. My husband and I have been together for 6 years married a couple months. He has been on a thyroid medication and an antidepressant which he recently decided he didn't need. He has fallen into what this article describes as a uni- depression. He is always down and in a foul mood and recently started "joking" about how quickly he could end his life. I have tried to convince him to get help without any luck. Do I have the right or should I try and force the issue of getting help- i.e. counseling, etc?

Came Looking for Answers to a friends Suicide - kim - Dec 3rd 2008

Hi all.. Well I came here looking for answers to my best friends suicide. She was Dx's with MDD. She committed suicide on November 26 2008. She had the world at her finger tips. Her husband is a CEO of a very large corp. She had a very nice home, debt free, just about everything she could ask for. I just dont understand what happened. For the past 1 1/2 yrs she started falling into this funk. then started not leaving her house. I just cant understand it all. I am torn to pieces at the turn of events and the loss of my dear friend. She had went to the Psyciatrist on Tuesday and was very up beat then on wednesday she killed herself. The doc told her husband that she had really fooled everyone on Tuesday. Even to the point that she was up beat and laughing adn they were talking of reducing her meds. How do we as survivors of a loved ones suicide cope and go on? She was only 56. Two great boys. A good husband even through tough and hard times. Fiends that truly cared and loved her. I know she loved us all too but how do we now cope????? If any of you out there are seriously thinking suicide its the easy was out. Think of your loved ones, husbands, wifes, mom, dad, friends, and most of all your kids. Do you know that if a parent commits suicide that statistics show that one child will follow that parents foots steps and repeat the act. Which child would you choose to die?  I have been reading a lot since last wednesday. I just want to understand and guess i never will. Please seek help and don't go as far as my friend did. Your loved ones will be where i am today. Confused and still looking for answers! Email if you have the answers for me!

what a nightmare! - blanca - Dec 3rd 2008

Hi everyone, I'm so glad I can relate toa lot of you out there, sho suffer from major depresssion. I have been recently diagnosed about a few months ago. I feel like I"m in a nightmare, and it doens't want to end! I'm scared, and just don't feeel like doine anything. I hate people who think Im just weak or crazy! They don't know how it feels! so who are they to judge? I"m always tired and just don't feel like talking or doing anything. I also suffer from panic disorder, which is horrible! I always hope and pray that one morning I can wake up, and all of this will be over, but it's so hard, I can't do it. All the anti depressants they've prescribed me have been useless, they make me feel worse! I hate this! And for the first time in my life, I have even thought of suicide. I can honestly say  I haven't done it, only because I have two beautiful daughters, I see there faces, and I can't bring myself to do that to them, but I can't take it anymore! Please God, help us all who suffer from this terrible disease. I hope one day for all of us, that will. come true. I hardly eat, and lost a lot of weight. I hate this, I'm so sick and tired! When will it all end? God bless everyone, and goodluck to all!

Can't see the light,even though I want to - triste - Nov 27th 2008

Though I have not been properly diagnosed from a therapist,I have done research; the various symptoms I'am experiencing and I too suffer with  severe depression.Overeating mostly junk: total lack of concern about my appearance,I no longer enjoy being around acquaintances as I once did.This may sound odd but it almost seems as though I enjoy being in the dumps.Lord,I wish this was not a factor of my life. I also avoid going outdoors unless I definitely must venture out there.I feel like an alien amongst the humans.I have grown overwhelmingly lonely,I mean the partner I 'am normally feel disgust for  I now feel the need to be loved by him like never before.He ignores me AND I just feel betrayed and lovelorn.I cry like always but this is nothing new I've wept frequently since the young age of 8or 9.My mother was a big contributor to my emotional and physical problems.I'am glad that I had somewhere to vent about my pathetic life.I 'am currently looking for a professional to maybe put me on meds to control my moods and get my life back on track,i forgot to mention I also have been unemployed for about 7months this has been a major problem seking employment when I'am too sad or sleepy or numerous other excuses to get outdoors.I feel for everyone who is experiencing this because people think I'am exaggerating or just plain full of crap.

Is there a forum to go to. - - Nov 18th 2008
I've read all the stories and wish I could comment on some. I know exactly how most of you feel. Lost, empty,don't want to do anything,want to leave my husband because he really doesn't understand. I'm not working because of this and that is filling me with anxiety. This is crazy. Life is too short to sit and let this crap take a hold of me. So why am I sitting and waiting for it to go away. I wish there truely was a permanent fix to MDD. All I can say is tell yourself it will be ok and hopefully it will. Good luck to all. There are people who care we just have to find them..

how bad is major depression having an effect on my physical state - - Nov 16th 2008

hello, I was diagnosed unipolar when I was 14. I am 31 now and have hit a wall in regard to my depression and day to day health/ well being. I am overwhelmed with depression, isolation, and hoplessness but I am also experiencing physical health problems such as having to urinate all the time. I am told this can be atrributed to my depressed state. can anyone relate to this and give me advice as to a regiment of therapy or medication that helped with their problems of this nature? I am no longer employed due to the magnitude of these problems and could use any advice.  thanks

depression/depersonalization question - J - Nov 9th 2008


I was wondering if anyone else feels like they no longer connect with the world around them. This is just my experience, but I had been depressed for a few years a few years back. At that time I was at least able to understand that I am down.. I don't like myself compared to those that are around me. I'm not sure what happened to me in the years following; Could it have been the pot I smoked? I'm not sure, but I have been in a souless state ever since. Emotionally I feel like a psycho that has no emotions, and because of that it is hard to keep myself together mentally. It's as if I'm in a movie and the people around me carry no life significance. I am dead inside but because my mind is still going and trying to piece everything together I am psychotic. It's like I've completely lost touch with the energy that exists everywhere. Instead of being anxious about things I'm completely relaxed and careless because It's as if I don't exist. Nearly anything could happen to me and it wouldn't effect me. This is all very scary, and I think I often scare the people around me because I'll seem relaxed but then when they talk to me I come out with a superficial wide eyed response. I never have something I truly want to say because I feel so completely empty inside.

 I don't mean to be such a downer but I just wanted to know if this complete disconnection is a part of major depression or am I dealing with a different mental illness?

Its hopeless..... - Morris Roebuck II - Nov 8th 2008

Hello to all, I would like to find out what is wrong with me. I don't sleep at night, and if I do. Its sleep at 3am and back up at 5am the latest 6am. But most nights I'm awake, never sleeping no matter how hard I've tried to go to sleep. Other times I'll fall asleep without recollection of even going to sleep. I'm 26, living in fear that one day, I might do something terrible to myself or someone else. I've searched for answers all of 4 years now and haven't been satisfied with results. I know I should consult a physician, but I haven't the money for that, nor the support from my family. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman. She seems to be the only individual that understands my desire to find some answers. Not even my family, including father, mother, brothers, and so on, don't believe I have some sort of condition(s). Everytime or anytime I bring it to the table, it's shot down with subject avoidance, or complete denial. Most of the time, I'd rather be reclusive and not bothered by anyone. Yeah, I tried to interact with the outside world. But its difficult when I don't know who/what I will be that day. I have suicidal thoughts, low self esteem(fluxuating confidence), sleep rarely, not hungry at all thru the day unless I haven't eaten for days, hygiene isn't a factor, and nor is health. Its almost like I have this uncontrollable death wish or something. I'm a uninsured, unemployed, 26 year old, afro-american male, I have a family of my own, and I would like to be there for them. Mentally, as well as physically. But the feeling of sad, mad or or any other negative emotion keeps me from performing for my old lady, or playing with my children. I need help is anyone out there, please. My family getting involved in this journey for knowledge of my condition(s), is hopeless. I need an outside source, a physician or therapist preferrably. To contact me on a more personal level. Please email me at Thank you reader(s), for taking the time to read a small insert about me. 

feeling angry instead of helpless - steven - Oct 28th 2008
In my depression,I feel extremely irritated and angry as opposed to feeling helpless and hopeless.The most petty and minor things piss me off.Since I have been diagnosed recently with MDD ,and studying the symptoms,I realize I have had MDD my entire life,my parents had it,and at least 95% of the people I have ever known have it.Most people self-medicate with alcohol to deaden their dysfunctional lives.People simply do not how to communicate their true feelings,for they will be mocked,and they certainly will.My advice would be to look in the mirror to find the only person who truly can help you,for everyone is truly on their own.

It can be better - janna - Oct 6th 2008

I am coming out of a year + long episode of major depression and a suicide attempt. I am going to do everything I can to keep myself healthy. I have had periods of depression and suicidal thoughts since early childhood, but this last event was the worst.  There is no extended family to support me, my husband is so narcissistic that he only worries about his needs being met.  I found that friends were fair weather. It never occurred to me that anyone would help me through this. It took me 3 days to organize my thoughts and manage enough concentration to find a psychitrist and a therapist. It has taken what seemed like super human effort on my part to make the appointments.  With the help of medication and therapy I have finally broken out of the black fog. Just as important, I have gained insight into my behavior and choices that trigger depression. I lost 30# this last year because I didnt have the energy or desire to eat most of the time.  I have now found that following a diet high in protein and complex carbs, taking a B complex vitamin, and exercising practically wiped out the anxiety I was experiencing. I am not saying that will work for anyone else, though. I have started volunteering to be around other people. I will never again just lie down and let depression overcome me without giving it a good fight. For every question there is an answer, but it takes motivation. Relief for the pain of depression is a huge motivator.

JUST ME - - Oct 5th 2008

This doesn't really seem like a discussion page, more like a venting page which is in itself theraputic.  Anyways.... I have been in a serious funk since the first of the year.  I tried to tell my doctor in the fall of last year that something was wrong.  I didn't feel right.. Please help me... long story short.... I quit the job that I had been striving for my whole life and proceded to go into the abyss of some sort of  deep depression.  I couldn't leave my house nor did I want to and I especially didn't want to speak with anyone besides my husband. It's been 10 months now.  I am so much better than what I was in Feb or Mar but I am still not the same.  I am chronically exhausted and have no desire to do anything. 

In retrospect I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me.  i remember as early as 10 yrs old feelings of aloneness and depression.  The first thing I did when i went to college was go to the free health and see if someone could help me.  Nothing... I have gone to the doctors over the years ... tests run... everything is fine.. except for me... I'm not fine.  13 yrs.  ago I experienced something of the same thing.  I went to the doctors because I knew something was not right.  I went to a chiropractor because the last thing I want to do is take meds.  I remember lying on the bed crying and telling him i felt like I was going crazy.. He just looked at me and walked out of the room.  i left and about 3 weeks later, I completely freaked out... kicked my beloved husband out and did things that i will never forgive myself for.  I nearly lost my marriage and my children.  I know that with God's help I was restored completely... but here I am again... 13 yrs later... experiencing the same feelings and experiencing the same reaction from doctors and experiencing the same weird freak out that changes the course of my life.  I just don't get it.  period.  I dont' get it.  I am not revoecer yet from this one.  I long to be happy and free.  I have a lot to give to this world .. especially when I am feeling great.  But those days are few and far between and what ends up happening now is that I just don't want anyone else to have to experience my negativity so I just don't want to be around anyone. 

I know I have suffered with chronic fatigue because I have journals from 30 yrs ago where I just state how tired I always am an it is the truth. I am always tired yet all my blood work is perfect.  I don't think anyone will answer this but thanks for being here so that I could write about my stupid experience with depression.  i absolutely hate it and somehow I am going to conquer it... I just don't want it to be when I turn 60 or 70..  Know what I mean?

enough - - Jul 24th 2008

give me a reason to want to carry on as i could give you more than you have ever imagined so to br to the point if i could find a way that suits me then i will end my pain

Whay's wrong with me? - Matt - Jun 28th 2008
I have a college degree, but seem to keep making poor choices. In my mind, I know I am very bright and capable, but sometimes I get so down I can't even go to work. I do things that are against my value system. My parents have suggested I am depressed, but I keep thinking I can work things out myself. I want to get out of this rut by myself, but perha-ps I need help/

All too familiar - Michelle - Jun 12th 2008

I only had to read a few before I figured out that these people really do know what I'm going through. I was diagnosed with MDD almost 10 yrs ago. When I told my Mom, she was angry with me. She just told me that I didn't know how to deal with things and that a little pill wouldn't help. So, I quit taking them and tried to "deal". That didn't work at all- I slipped so far down that I didn't see any light at all and felt I had no choice but to end it all. My husband at the time agreed with my Mother, so I felt completely and utterly alone. Was I crazy? Was the way I was feeling really my fault? Could I ever be happy again? It wasn't until I found a doctor who really listened to me that finally helped me out of that deep dark hole. He told me that besides the new medication, I also needed a strong support system of people that understood, or at least tried to understand, to help me regain the self-esteem and image I had lost. I have found that! My new husband takes a vested interest in making sure I feel good and am happy physically, but also emotionally and mentally. He never makes me feel like I'm not dealing with something when I start to take that ride down the rollar coaster. I've hit rock bottom with him and he's there to support me in whatever way I need- even if it's just me calling him in to change the channel because I just can't get up. My meds don't work as well as I'd like them too, but I couldn't handle the side effects of several others, so I'll take what I can get. Loved ones- stand by with an eager and helping hand- because there's nothing worse than looking for that outstretched hand and finding nothing. For those out there that think they may have a problem or even to the families of those suffering, keep the faith!

Im scared - Jan - Jun 7th 2008

I've been through a hell of a lot during my life, but not as much as some people. I've been getting more and more depressed over the past 5 years but just thought it was me being weak because I can always think of lots of people who are worse off than me and think I ought to be able to focus on the positive things I've got. But recently I've become unable to do that. Because I'm a teacher I've been trying just to work and work and work and do everything to be perfect, but that broke down last year and I snapped at some kids who were being horrible and had to go home. I went to my doctor and was put on antidepressants. The school said they didnt want me back until I was better of course. That just made me feel guilty and useless. I went to occupational health for a session and then the person I saw reported back to me head teacher everything Id said. They treat me differently at school because Im not stable -- they really are watching me, its not just my imagination. Im worried now because Ive just gone into another 'down' and am having to pretend to be ok because if I cant work I wont be able to pay the bills and Ill lose my house. On top of that my husband is fed up with me. Ive tried really hard to be like a normal person outside the home -- talk positive, smile, carry on but Im running out of steam. What can I do?

When wiil i feel normal again - Brian - May 14th 2008
I've been diagnosed with severe depression about 4mths ago,i've felt like my world has totally turned upside down,I have severe social anxiety and depression i've been like this for 2an1/2 to 3yrs now and it's really affecting my life. I always thought that i was weak or just feeling blue but the feelins never went away .I finnaly went to get help and it's been a see saw ever since trying to find the right meds that work for me.I'm at the point where i have not been able to go to work ,i don't enjoy anything in life that i used to and i really don't care about anything i just sit in my room all day an stare at the walls wondering what the hell is wrong with me.I hope to be me again someday.

Depression Hurts - - May 7th 2008

I can't sleep and don't fell hungry during the day. I am convinced that my sleep has eveything to do with my depression. I have has depression of 5 years and take 3 different meds to help with the sleep and mood. I hate that I have to take these pills, it's not fair that other people don't need them and I do. I have found out the hard way that not taking your meds can spell alot of insomnia and more depression. Hang in ther everyone and keep doing what your doctor tells you to do.

Editor's Note:  There is effective psychotherapy for depression these days, most commonly available in the form of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Depression.  It involves no medicine at all, has no side effect, and has been scientifically proven to be as effective or more effective than leading anti-depressant medications.  This may be something for you to explore if you are dissatisfied with medications for depression. 

Is There Hope? - james - Feb 8th 2008
Ive been dealing with depression for a long time and never realized I had it. I just thought that maybe what was going on with me is just something normal due to bad incidents in my life. I just recently realized that I was getting worse and how it has been affecting my marriage for the last 17 years. I am now on medication but it doesnt seem to help enough, I just want to feel normal and happy for once in my life, instead of feeling worthless, sad and thinking about ending my life. If you have symptoms of depression please get help soon, I wish I had sooner.

Difficulty accepting Depression Diagnosis - - Dec 17th 2007

For those who struggle taking antidepressants:

I have been wishing that one day I will snap out of my depressed state on my own. I really struggle admiting that I have to take antidepressants in order to feel well. My therapist put things in perspective by asking me one day, "If you were diabetic and needed insulin would you take it?" ..."Of course I would. But people understand diabetes, most people do not understand depression. How could you if you have never experienced it?

I now make my medicine part of my routine, I am hoping that it will get me to a "normal state". What is a "normal" day to most people is a great day without depression to those of us who struggle with this daily.

Find comfort in knowing you are not alone!

why me? - paige - Dec 17th 2007
i have been living with depression since i hit puberty, 20 years ago.  i have been on almost every antidepressent out there. none have really worked but now im taking cymbalta. except for the crazy side effects i actually feel a little better. i always wonder why i was cursed with this alliment. i would love to wake up one day and be happy. everyday is a struggle. i feel for anyone else who suffers from this. we can't give up though, because one day they will figure out what causes this and we can all be free.

writing - Cade - Dec 16th 2007
i believe my father might have depression problems but there is one thing i am unsure of. He writes the same sentance, if you want to call it that, over and over again. The problem is it is a jumble of letters and makes no sense and there are very few vowels. He has done this for the past few years and when asked about it he says that it is a abbrevation for a to do list. I assume it is not. He continues to do it and leaves the notebook open to the pages. I have no idea what this means. Is there a name for this? Help is appreceiated.

Like to be myself again - - Nov 13th 2007
I've had depression for over six years. I driving me crazy. I've lost interest in everything. I don't sleep well. I wake up with headache, blood pressure and a host of other ailments. I would darely like to get back my life once more. Can anyone help

I am here - - Oct 20th 2007
or even other issues but we all deal with them differently. No one walks in my shoes nor I in theirs but i am not different.

Endorphins - - Oct 19th 2007
Walking at a fast pace along with medication can ease depression symptoms. It has helped me tremendously.

Where to go from here? - Renee - Oct 10th 2007

I have been diagnosed with chronic depression for at least 20 yrs. I have tried all the SSRI's, NI's, and they no longer work.

 Does anyone have a suggestion as the dr I see is not up with meds and I can't afford Psyciatry. I have started not bathing for days within the past year. And about 5 yrs ago started doing things to sabotage my life, ie. money is in the bank but i purposefully don't pay bills. I know I should, but keep putting it off. I have almost ruined my life with this behavior.

Help? - uhm...i dont wanna say... - Oct 3rd 2007 getten some of these symptoms n stuff...ive alredy been disgnosed with depression but not any particular type of kinda worried i feel like a syco n i cant tell anyone because then theyl go n tell everyone n theyl all look at me funny n think im a stupid emo attention seeker...sumtimes i think i can hear people blaming me for deagons death and other times they really are.... i just want help without feeling like an idiot n bein put in a strate jacket...please dont try to track me down or anything i just need advice on what to do because everyone i know hates me and look at me like im a piece of shite...just reply to my  email address

I am just getting out of a psychotic phase - Miss M - Sep 12th 2007

It is so eerie to read these symptoms because they are exactly what I've been experiencing on and off for the past couple of weeks now.  I hope they pass and never come back.

I remember believing that people next door were having a satanic mass and where going to kidnap me for sacrifice!  I knew logically that it was a load of bs, but I still got up and hurried inside and locked the door.  I got really paranoid and worried...

I also believed that my partner was keeping secrets; and that I could hear people talking about me in a nasty way.