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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

I Don't Know Anymore. Please Help.

There is man that i am so in love with, but, everything fell apart. He had come to America as an exchange student and we hit it off right away. At this time he had a girlfriend in Austria, but he left her. So I thought that everything was great and we fell madly in love with each other. One day his ex-girlfriend called him and apologized for everything she did to make him break up with him. He still loves this girl, but he still loves me. He has since gotten back with his ex and I am now the other woman. I don't know what to do. I love this guy so much that I don't want to let him go. On the other hand I do not want to hurt is girlfriend. I am so confused about what to do and I know that he is as well. But now my best friend has told me that I am a bad person and that she does not want to be friends anymore. I need help.

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  • Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology.
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Reader Comments

Try talking. - JR - Nov 6th 2009

Better still, try listening, with attention, and responding accordingly.  Take an interest in the person, show it, and they may take an interest in you.  If it does not work out like that - don't worry; as W.S. Gilbert put it, "there are lots of good fish in the sea".  The physical side is, of course, important - but the mental side is, in the end, just as important - in fact, more so.  I cannot, myself, see how sexual relationships can work satisfactorily, in the long term, in any other perspective.  Whatever the difficulties, a couple must care for each other, show it, and work it.

Yours, twenty-four difficult years on, but still There,

JR.

Very comprehensive - - Nov 6th 2009

Thanks for the perspective -- the oversite provided was very good. -- I have an issue -- I have a person who is emotionally available but not physically open-- more guarded --- not much kissing between us .   Sex only with protection.   Not much foreplay.    

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